Commentaries for Same Group Members' Polished Thesis Draft Essay

Commentaries for Same Group Members' Polished Thesis Draft - Essay Example Rather what can be used is how Kripal’s book and comments made in the book on the topic of discussion is related to the paper. Although several quotes have been used in the paper, but it is also important to discuss briefly the inner meaning of these quotes, these are not provided sufficiently in the paper. For instance, Atmajnanananda’s remark on Kripal’s thought has not been properly discussed in the paper. It is unsuitable to use the sentence â€Å"This paper discusses the relationship between the religious organization Soka Gakkai and Komeito, a Japanese political party†¦Ã¢â‚¬  in the beginning of the abstract. Rather the brief idea about the topic and its importance can be provided in the abstract first followed by the sentence. The in-text referencing style is not properly used in the entire paper. Also there is no proper reference or bibliography list of references at the end of the paper. In the reference list short description of books or journal papers or websites are not required. The section â€Å"Soka Gakkai and Komeito: 1970-present† is too long period. This period can be distributed into different time phases in terms of importance of Soka Gakkai and Komeito in the religious structure of the country. It has been written in the paper that â€Å"One national, 13 regional and 47 prefectural Councils on Social Affairs determine the Soka Gakkai’s endorsements†, however the importance of this determination is not clear from following